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Archive for April 4th, 2012

This month is Autism Awareness Month, I wanted to write something on the subject matter.

As many know already my son was diagnosed with ADHD/Autism/OCD when he was four years old.   I thought I had my plan laid out for what to write, what to say, I was wrong.  I’ve typed, erased and retyped entire books worth of telling you about my son, explaining how he is, how he was through the years.  I’m not comfortable with any of that.  Oh, it would be true and would paint a good picture, but he’s not a picture, he’s not something that can be broken down into categories, symptoms, excuses or explanations of various behaviors.  He is what he is, unique, gifted, testing, trying, loving, giving, he is so many things.

I wrote up how it is to be a Mother of an Autistic child.  Paragraphs worth of information and I erased it.  Being my son’s Mother is wonderful and something I would never wish to not be no matter how struggling things can be it times.  In many ways he’s taught me far more then I could ever teach him, just with different lessons.

So, maybe I will try this. I will tell you what I love about it and about him.

I love that he holds a huge heart and when he says he loves, which has always been a word and emotion so deeply guarded by him, it isn’t just a saying or gesture but true on genuine.

I love he does not take things at face value.  He requires honestly, openness, directness and responses which offer him no room for guessing.  In turn I love that he also offers this back. If he feels something or thinks something he is forthcoming in expressing it if he feels comfortable with you enough to talk to you.

I love that he’s logical, even in fits of melt downs where his own thoughts are illogical he requires others to be logical with him.  Yet I also love that he holds ability to still believe leprechauns come to dance in the trees on St. Patrick’s eve.  Trolls live in rotted out tree stumps,  and per his own words. “I don’t care Mommy if other people say Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny aren’t real, if I want to believe in them and keep them real to me that’s alright isn’t it Mommy?”.  Of course I said that was just fine with me.

I love that he can hold on to the joy of the simple and small things in life many of us have grown to overlook.  The small bug on the blade of grass, the cocoon under a leaf, a tiny flower no bigger then a pencil eraser.

I love that he loves “hugs sleep on’s”.

I love his passion for discovery.  Insects, plants, unusual rocks or just really cool looking shape or colored ones, reptiles, amphibians..pretty much fauna, flora, the heavens and earth in that order are areas of enormous interest to him.

I love his smile and his laugh. For many years he did not hold facial expressions or a true ability to laugh,  what he did hold was mimic of what he seen another do.  I love that he finally has gained ability to offer genuineness of both.

I love his strength.  He’s been through so many trials and tests with this condition. Bullies at school and outside of school, physical conditions resulting from or linked in with his condition, mental challenges, general public lack of understanding and yet he continues on and doesn’t let it stop him for long.  Oh sure, he might slide and pause but given reassurance he’s loved, he’s alright and you are still there he tries again.

There are far to many loves to put in this post so I will simply sum it up.  I love being a Mother of an Autistic child and I’m thankful he’s been brought into my life.

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